My Journey to Correct Meditation
Suan Santidham, October 17,2007
我的禅修之旅
-----探索正确禅修的过程
Suan Santidham, 2007年10月17日
Dhamma is something we can study or talk about anywhere. It is a natural and ordinary topic and needn’t be something to speak of in a formal way or setting. In the Buddha’s time, they taught under trees. Dhamma isn’t so mysterious or complicated either. Common people can understand it just fine. But if an ordinary person is to develop the mind to the state of nibbāna (Nirvana), he or she must be very diligent and committed, though not in the sense of a workhouse with the head down and the use of brute force. It is not at all as hard as it sounds. Regular working people can achieve great wisdom into the true nature of things. There is no need to be a monk.
佛法是我们可以随时随地来学习和谈论的。它是一个自然而普通的话题，不需要以很正式的方式或在很正规的地点。佛陀时代，佛陀在树下教导弟子们。佛法既不神秘也不复杂，普通人就能很好理解它。但是如果一位普通人想修行至涅槃，那么他或她就得非常精进和全面投入，尽管不需要头悬梁锥刺股那般。但也不象听起来那么难，一般的上班族能修到看到万物的实相的智慧的程度，不需要出家就能达成的。
Allow me to share the story of my practice. It will help us to see that we can all practice to see the truth. It will also provide some insight into how to practice correctly and how to overcome some obstacles we may encounter along our journey.
请允许我分享我的禅修经历，这会帮助我们理解我们能够通过实践看到真相，同时也提供了一些有益的经验，如怎样正确地练习，怎样克服修行道路上可能遇到一些障碍。
When I was seven years old I went to a temple called Wat Asokarama and met a monk there named Luang Por (Venerable Father) Lee. He gave me my first lesson in meditation . He taught me to watch and count my breaths and mentally say “Buddho” (The knower or awakened one) as did this. Each in-breath I was to say “Bud”, and each out-breath I was to say “dho”, breathing in “Bud”, out “dho”, count 1, in “Bud”, out “dho”, and count 2. I was instructed to count up to ten full breaths and then count back down again.
七岁的时候，我去一家名叫Asokarama的寺院，遇到隆波李。他教导了我禅修的第一堂课。他教我观察呼吸和数呼吸，数息时说“佛陀”（知道者和觉醒者）。每吸一口气时，说“佛”，每呼一口气时，说“陀”。吸气说“佛”呼气说“陀”后，数1; 吸气说“佛”呼气说“陀”后，数2. 他指导我数到10时重新再开始从1数起。
After receiving this instruction from Luang Por Lee, I practiced day in and day out. At the time I didn’t know about the Buddha’s teaching on mindfulness of the in-breath and out-breath (Anapanasati). The true meaning of this teaching is to be mindful with every breath. It does not mean to force your attention to stay with the breath and not let it go off elsewhere. But the latter is what I did. And since I was only seven, my mind was able to concentrate on the breath very well. The mind of a youngster just did what it was told. I wasn’t inquisitive and I wasn’t seeking any results.
得到隆波李的指导后，我天天都练习，没有间断。那时我不知道佛陀关于正念呼吸的教导（安那般那念）。这个教导的真正意思是对每个呼吸保持正念觉知，不强迫注意力停留在呼吸上，也不让注意力跑到别的地方去了。但后半部分我犯了这错误。七岁的我能够将心很好地安住在呼吸上，年幼的心只会做长者所教导的方法，既不询问也不寻求结果。
Not long after, I was able to visit different realms of existence and I became interested in angels and higher beings. Perhaps by the grace of previous karma or practice, I realized the futility in this curiosity. I thought, “I am not an angel. They won’t let me live with them. So why am I looking over the fence to see what the neighbours have?” I was also very afraid of ghosts, so the idea hit me that perhaps I’d end up visiting them too. In fact I was so afraid of ghosts that I couldn’t sleep when my little cat died. I worried its spirit would haunt me! I decided that enough was enough with my astral travels, and so I decided to keep to the breath from then on.
不久之后，我能够不同的存有的领域游玩。我对天人和更高的众生感兴趣。可能基于过去生的业力或修行，我认识到对其他存有的领域好奇没有什么益处。我想：“我不是天人，他们不会让我和他们一起住，因此我为什么要越过篱笆去看邻居家是怎么样呢？”同时我非常怕鬼，这种害怕影响着我，所以我得中止去鬼道游玩。我如此地怕鬼，当我们家小猫死了时我不能睡觉，我担心它的灵魂会来找我！我想我的星界之旅已足够了，从那时起我决定只观呼吸。
Every day for the next 22 years, even without a teacher to remind or force me, I continued to practice watching and counting the breath and repeating “Buddho”. I was able to make the mind very peaceful. One day, when I was about 10 years old, I was playing with marbles outside in the yard, and I suddenly saw the neighbours’ house catch fire. It was blazing out of many rooms. In a state of shock, I quickly gathered up all my marbles (still greedy, and making sure I wouldn’t lose any of them!) and darted into the house to tell my dad. After about three steps something amazing happened: mindfulness arose automatically and I was able to see the fear, from a completely detached position.
接下来的22年，没有老师提醒督促，我每天坚持观呼吸，数息，重复诵“佛陀”。我能够让心非常平静。10岁那年，一天我在户外的院子里玩弹珠子，我突然看到邻居家起火了，火从几间房子里燃烧起来，看到这火我震惊了，我快速收起我所有的弹珠子（仍有贪，确保不丢失一颗珠子！），奔向屋子里去告诉我爸爸。迈出三步后，奇怪的事情发生了：正念它（观察者）自动生起了，我看到我的害怕，从一个完全分离独立的角度看见了害怕。
Many years later I later told this story to a venerable teacher of mine, Luang Por Phud. He said this happened from the karma of a previous lifetime when I had practiced meditation. If a very powerful emotion arises, usually fear or anger, mindfulness that was developed before will come back and see the emotion. Dosa (fear, anger, stress, or any kind of aversion) is the strongest and usually the easiest defilement to see. Learning Dhamma through meditative development is something that never leaves us. It is completely distinct from learning with books and teachers; it is not forgotten, even over lifetimes.
许多年后我将这个经历告诉我的一位老师，隆波普，他说这是由于我某一个前生禅修过积累的善业所致。当非常强烈的情绪生起时，曾经修成的正念会回来看这情绪。嗔（包括害怕、生气、压力、或任何一种嗔心等）是最强烈，常常最容易被看到的烦恼。通过禅修学到的佛法是永远不会离开我们的，这完全不同于从书本上和老师那里学到的知识，它不会忘记，甚至经过多生也不会忘记。
Many people have such experiences, where a separation occurs from a strong emotion even if just for a moment. But at the time this moment of mindfulness occurred, and the moment of separation from the phenomenon of fear, I didn’t know it was anything significant and I quickly forgot about it. Luang Por Lee had passed on and I didn’t have a teacher or anyone to ask. I knew there were good teachers in Thailand, especially the Northeast, but I didn’t know any of them. So I just kept watching the breath and making myself peaceful for a while every day.
许多人有这些经验，哪怕只是一片刻，观察者产生了，它从强烈的情绪中分离出来。那刻正念产生了，从害怕中分离出来，我当时不知道它的重要性，很快就把它忘记了。隆波李已过世了，我没有老师可以请教。虽然我知道泰国东北就有许多好老师，但我不认识他们，所以我继续每天观察呼吸让自己平静一会儿。
In 1981, at the age of 29, I was reading a Dhamma magazine and noticed Luang Pu (Venerable Grandfather) Dune’s paraphrasing of the Buddha’s Four Noble Truths quoted on the back cover:
The mind sent out is the cause of suffering.
The result of the mind being sent out is suffering.
The mind that sees the mind with crystal clarity is the Nobel Path.
The result of the mind that sees the mind with crystal clarity is liberation
在1981年，我29岁那年，我阅读了一本佛法杂志，在封底上我看到隆波顿对佛陀的四圣谛的释义：
心出去了，是苦之因
心出去了的结果，是苦
观察者以清晰的正念看到心的活动，是圣道
观察者以清晰的正念看到心的活动的结果，是解脱
Regarding the first sentence, it should be noted that it is normal and natural to send the mind out to look, hear, see, touch, taste and to think. In short, this is how we interact with the world. However, when regular people do this, the mind will be uneasy, unsteady. This is not the case for those who have reached enlightenment. This is one of Luang Pu Dune’s teachings. I had never heard anything like this before, but it struck me as very interesting. I was great at watching the breath, but really knew nothing at all about Dhamma. I was completely ignorant to it. Luckily Luang Pu Dune was still alive and living in Surin Province. So I set out to see him at his temple, Wat Burabharama.
对第一句话，我们可以理解为心的自然状态：心在六根门中活动，去看，去听，去触，去尝，去想。简单地说，这就是我们怎样与这个世界互动。然而，我们普通人运用六根去接触外境时，心会不安稳。而对于解脱者来说，这不是问题。这就是隆波顿的教导之一。我以前从来没有听到过这些，我对此很感兴趣。我很擅长于观呼吸，但对佛法一无所知，完全忽略了它。幸好隆波顿还活着，他住在Surin省，于是我去他的寺院，Burabharama寺拜访他。
I waited for him to finish his lunch in his living quarters(khuti), and after which he came out to sit in a chair out front. I prostrated to him three times as is the tradition, and then sat at his feet. I told him that I would like to practice the Dhamma. He closed his eyes and sat silently for at least a half an hour. I wasn’t sure what has happened. Was he going to talk to me? Was he meditating? Maybe he was taking an afternoon nap! When he finally opened his eyes he told me that Dhamma practice is not hard; it is only hard for those who don’t practice. He told me that I had studied enough books, and it was now time to study my own mind. I was so excited that he finally spoke and taught me something. I told him I understood what he meant. He said if I understand, then I should go and practice. And that was it. That was all he said to me. It was time to venture on another overnight train back home, with just that to ponder.
我来到他居住的小屋，等他吃完午饭。饭后他走到屋外坐到一张椅子上，我按照传统向他拜三拜，然后在他脚下坐下来。我告诉他我想修习佛法。他闭上眼睛，一动不动地坐在那里，至少有半小时之久。我不知道什么回事，心想：他会和我说话吗？他是在禅坐吗？或者他只是饭后睡一会午觉？最后，他终于睁开了眼睛，对我说：修习佛法不难，对那些不修行的人它很难。他告诉我我已经读了很多书了，现在该是读自己的心的时候了。他终于开口说话教导我一些东西，我非常兴奋，我告诉他我理解他所说的。他说如果我理解了，我应该回去练习。这就是我和他的见面，这就是他对我说的全部话。我该回去了，坐一通宵的火车回去，并仔细思量他说的话。
Luang Pu Dune told me to study my own mind. But I did not know where my mind was. On the train home, I started to look for it. I figured the mind had to be in my body. If I stopped being interested in the outside world, and just observed the body, then eventually I would find the mind. This is what I thought. So first, I investigated my hair. It seemed obvious the mind wasn’t there. I then proceeded to investigate the rest of my body, all the way down to the feet. It didn’t seem that there was a mind anywhere in the body at all. It was all just material stuff, and the body was just a physical mass.
隆波顿教导我们学习我自己的心，但是我不知我的心在哪里，在回去的火车上，我开始寻找它。我想心准在我的身体里。我想如果我将对外界的兴趣收回来，只观察身体，最后会找到心。这是我想的。首先，我开始研究我的头发，很明显心不头发上。接着我研究身体的其他部分，直到脚部，结果似乎心根本不在身体的任何部位，看到的全是物质，身体只是一堆物质的集合而已。
So when I thought maybe the mind was in contentment and discontentment. So I made myself feel happy and relaxed, and then I looked into the happiness for mind. The happiness then started to drift away. It was apparent that there was no mind to be found in the happiness. The same was true for unhappiness. Next, I figured maybe the mind is in thoughts. I decided to do some Buddhist chanting and watch these chanted thoughts carefully. I saw the thoughts, the words of the chant, coming up and realized that the mind isn’t the thoughts; the mind is that which knows everything. It is that which knows the body and what it does, knows all the feelings, knows all phenomena.
我想可能心在满意与不满意之间。于是我让自己感到快乐舒适，从快乐中找心，快乐接着开始飘走了。显然心没有在快乐中。同样心也不在不快乐中。接着，我估想心也许在意念中，我决定念诵佛教课诵，仔细观察这些念诵的意念，我看着意念，念诵的字句，后来认识到心不是这些意念。心是那个知道一切的知道者，心知道身体和身体所做的，心知道所有心理感受，心知道所有现象。
I watched all phenomena happening and concluded that the mind was just the natural knower of all things. Upon this understanding, the mind completely separated from all things that were arising, if just for a moment, and then was attached to them once again. I saw that the mind could separate out. It was quite a revelation. I practiced trying to make this happen again for a week straight, and was successful again only for a few quick moment.
我观察所有发生的现象，最后得出结论心就是那个知道一切的自然的知道者。领悟到这点后，心完全从所生起的现象中分离出来，分离一片刻后，它再次又粘着现象了。我看到心能够分离出来的，这真是一个非同一般的发现。我练习试着让这种分离的状态维持一周，成功了，但只维持了几个片刻。
I was proud of my accomplishments. Even though I had practiced so much and only was able to separate the mind out for a few moments, I felt it was a great feat. I could have just as easily been disappointed that I’d had only a few moments of clarity after all that work, but I was good at encouraging myself. We have to know the art of when to be comforting or stern with ourselves.
我对我的成就感到很自豪，尽管我大量练习，但能够分离成为观察者只维持了几个片刻，我感到这是一个伟大的功绩。大量练习后只有几个片刻清晰，我本可能很容易地感到失望的，但我很善于自我鼓励，所以感到很满意。我们需知道什么时候该安慰自己，什么对自己要求严格。
Then in the next week, I could see the mind oscillating between being separated from and attached to phenomena. I could also see the mind moving from the eyes to the ears, to thinking, and all around. I decided try to make it stop doing all this, and pulled all the attention in to make the mind still at the center of the chest. It felt tight there, but I noticed that the mind wasn’t to be found in this spot either. I felt maybe I had to get rid of this tightness.
接下来的一周，我看到心在分离的观察者和粘着现象之间摇摆。我也能看到心在眼耳等六根之间跳动，于是我想让它停下来，把所有注意力拉到胸部位置让心静止下来，这样做后感觉很紧，也注意到心不在这点上，我想我得去除这紧迫感。
Please remember that I had not much direction from teachers at the time, so I was just trying to figure it all out for myself. I focused intently on the tight spot in the chest, and eventually the tightness burst and I felt a wonderful sensation of relief. I thought I had practiced really well that day. But the tightness kept coming back, and I had to be more and more resourceful with my concentration to burst it, like a needle poking again and again at a balloon. Finally, when the balloon in the chest burst a final time, the mind became the knower, the watcher again. After a short time though, the mind started running around to the eyes to see, the ears to hear, into the thoughts to think. I still couldn’t figure out how to stop it from moving. I decided to focus on the breath again just to try to keep the mind still. I spent a long time trying to find a solution to stop the mind’s antics.
不要忘记那时我没有老师指导，我就是自己到处找心。我刻意专注于胸部的紧迫点，最后紧迫点爆裂了，我感到松了一口气。我原以为那天我会修得很好，但是那种紧迫感不断回来，我得越来越专注以便突破它，象一根针一样一次次地努力以刺破气球。当胸部的气球爆破的最后时刻，心再次成为知道者、观察者。不久之后，心开始四处跑，跑到眼根处看，到耳根处听，到意根处想。我不知道怎样阻止它的运动。我决定再次专注于呼吸让心静止。我花了很长时间试图找到方法阻止心的活动。
After about three months of this, I went back to Luang Pu Dune. I figured he would be very pleased with my work. With a straight face, I told him, “I am now able to watch my mind.” He asked, “Tell me about the mind then.” I told him, “the mind keeps running around, but I can keep bringing it back.” He then exclaimed, “That’s not watching the mind. You are meddling with its behavior! Try again.” He didn’t tell me what to watch; he just said I was interfering with the behavior and not watching the mind itself. He then expounded some Dhamma to me about how Buddha is mind (citta). I didn’t understand any of it and felt exhausted. At the end of it, in a blur of confusion, I asked if I could just go back and watch the mind. He said, of course, as that is all there really is to do in all of the Buddha’s teachings.
三个月之后，我再次去见隆波顿，我想他会对我的修行很满意。我一本正经地告诉他: “现在我能够观察我的心了。” 他回答道：“那你告诉我观察心。”我告诉他：“心不断地四处跑，但我能不断把它拉回来。”他大嚷道：“那不是观察心，你在干预它的行为！再去尝试。”他没有告诉我观察什么，他只是说我在妨碍心的活动，不是观察心本身。接着他向我详细解说一些佛法知识：佛心是怎样。我用力去听，但完全听不懂，感到筋疲力尽。最后，带着困惑地，我问他是否我可以回去观察心了。他说，可以，按照佛陀的教导去做，全部都已经在那里。
When I went back I mulled over what Luang Pu Dune had told me. If I was lost in the mind’s behavior, then maybe I should stop concerning myself with the mind’s antics. I decided I’d just let the mind do what it does and just observe it without interfering.
回去后我仔细考虑隆波顿所教导我的话。如果我干预了心的活动，那么我该中止干预。我决定让心做它该做的，我只是观察它不干预。
Seven months after first meeting Luang Pu Dune, I went to meet a monk friend of mine after work at a nearby temple and got caught in the rain. My umbrella could not withstand the intensity of the wind and rain. I was completely soaked. I went into the hut (khuti) and sat in such a way that I would not make the floor too wet. I began to worry that I would surely catch a cold from this weather. From all the practice I had done, however, the mind separated out and saw the worry and the worry disappeared. Not only that, but the whole world disappeared for a moment, and all that was left was mind. The mind showed me in that moment that even the mind was not me. I realized that if not even the mind was me, then there isn’t anything in this world that we can call ourselves.
距第一次见隆波顿七个月后的一天，我下班后去附近的寺院看望我的一位和尚朋友，回去的路上被困在雨中，我的伞抵挡不了暴风雨，我浑身湿透了，走进我的住处，坐下来，开始发愁地想：不要把地弄得太湿了，否则我准会感冒。基于我所修习的，那刻心作为观察者分离出来，看见了担忧出现了，担忧消失了，不仅仅如此，整个世界消失了一会儿，所有都退去了，只剩下观察者。那刻观察者出现了，甚至观察者也不是我。我意识到如果观察者也不是我，那么这世界上没有任何一物可以被称之为我们自己。
I went back to Luang Pu Dune again and I told him that the practice had come together. He said that I know how to practice correctly now, that I have seen the noble path and the Triple Gem (Buddha, Dhamma, Sangha). He said that I didn’t need to go back to see him again. Of course, I still did. I was stubborn in my ways, and I didn’t believe him yet.
我再次回到隆波顿那里，告诉他我的修行合一了。他说我已经知道怎样正确地修行了，我已看到了圣道和三宝（佛、法、僧）。他说我不需要再去见他了。当然，我按他说的做了。我有些愚顽，没有听懂他的话。
Can we see here that we don’t have to be a monk to practice correctly and receive the fruits and wisdom that it brings? Just watch and see what the mind does. Know in the body, and know in the mind. Just know. Only know.
从上所述，我们能不能看到我们不必要出家就能正确地练习好，能获得智慧之果？观察看见心在做什么，知道身，知道心，单单知道就够了。
About nine months later I wanted some help again with my practice. Unfortunately, Luang Pu Dune had passed away. After that, I mostly went to Luang Pu Thade for advice, and occasionally Luang Pu Sim and a few others. I went to meet Luang Pu Sim and told him about an experience I was having. Ever since I was a child practicing meditation, I had never been one to get taken away by peaceful states. I was always alert. But for some reason, at this point I kept getting absorbed and falling asleep, even sometimes while doing walking meditation! I was curious about what was going on. When I explained my situation to Luang Pu Sim, he asked me what a true watcher could be curious about? He said I’ll be fine and that great things are bound to happen soon. That’s about all he said. It was hard to understand and certainly hard to swallow.
九个月后我再次需要法上的帮助。不幸的是，隆波顿已去世。之后，我大多去询问隆波塔德，有时隆波斯姆或其他一些师父。我去见隆波斯姆告诉他我当时的体验。我从小就禅修，从来没有被平静的状态所卷走过，我一直保持警觉。但那时不知什么原因，我被某个点吸引住了，昏沉，甚至有时走路时也昏睡！我对所发生的有些好奇。我把我的情形告诉隆波斯姆，他问我一位真正的观察者会对什么好奇呢，他告诉我这没有关系，不久接下来必会有更大的惊喜发生。这就是他所说的。这很难以理解消化。
Few meditation masters provide assistance with the impeccable detail that I do. I’ll even tell you what your mind is doing for you! Anyway, I continued with my practice and my understanding of the Dhamma. The mind withdrew and became more and more distant from what arose. Then there was a period where whatever objects would arise, I would bring my attention deep into them with great focus. I really wanted to see them clearly. I was staying with Luang Por Keun, a student of Luang Pu Dune at the time. He told me, “Hey, Pramote, watch the mind! Remember the watcher.” So I had to stop focusing deeply on the objects.
很少有禅师象我这样事无巨细地告诉你们禅修经历，以提供参考。我甚至告诉你你的心正在为你做什么。我继续禅修和理解佛法。作为观察者，心从现象中撤离，对所生起的现象距离越来越远。接下来有一段时间无论什么目标生起，我极其专注地深入目标，我真的想把他们看清楚，那时，我和隆波坤在一起，他是隆波顿的一位弟子，他对我说：“帕默，观察心，记得观察者。”因而我不得不中止了对目标的深度专注。
I thought he meant to clearly watch the watcher, so then I focused all my attention on it. I held it in my attention as best I could. This is not what we should do. I did this for about year, until the mind was completely still and stuck to the watcher like glue. Many people like to do this, fixing attention on the breath or the watcher as I did, but it really has no use. Be careful of this. Don’t make the same mistake as I did, stagnant for 22 years concentrating on the breath, and then another year fixing to the watcher.
我以为他的意思是说清楚地看观察者，所以我专注地看观察者，我尽我最大努力去专注于观察者。事实上，这不是我们该做的，我这样练了一年，直到心完全静止，象胶水一样粘着观察者。许多人喜欢这样做，象我这样将注意力锁定在呼吸上或锁定在观察者上，这样做是没有用的。小心这样情况发生，不要犯我这样同样的错误，停滞专注在呼吸上22年，又粘着在观察者上1年。
Finally, I began to relax and let the mind do its thing. It would slip towards the mental phenomena that would arise and then come back to the watcher or knower. I wouldn’t hold to the watcher anymore, so I would let it slip back down into a phenomenon, and then it would come back to the watcher again. The mind would be the knower and then it wouldn’t, moving back and forth like this between watching mind and mental phenomena. At one point, the mind released its attention from both and there was a cessation in the middle. It was not here, there or anywhere between. I thought this must have been nibbāna.
最后，我终于放松下来，让心自然运行。它可能会滑向所生起的心理现象，然后又回来成为观察者知道者。我不再粘着在观察者上，让它滑入现象，然后又回到观察者。心有时是观察者，有时不是，来来回回在观察者和现象之间变动。某一刻，心从两边出离，停止在中间，既不是观察者也没有粘着现象，什么都不是，我想这必定是涅槃了。
I went to see Luang Pu Thade. He told me to keep doing this. There weren’t many people that are able to do what I was doing, so he wanted to make sure I didn’t stop practicing. I told him I was scared I’d get addicted to this state, so he reassured me that he would help me if I did. This actually was a type of Samatha practice. But since it was so rare, Luang Pu Thade thought I should keep at it.
我去拜访隆波塔德，他要我坚持做。没有多少人达到我这种状态，因此他要我不停止练习。我告诉他我害怕我会粘着这种状态，他一再保证如果出现粘着他会帮我。事实上这是一种奢摩它。但因为很少出现，所以他想我该保持它。
By chance one evening I met a monk, Luang Pu Boonjan who asked me about my practice. When I told him about this beautiful state I was keeping to, he laughed and said, “What kind of nibbāna would have an entrance and an exit? His words jolts me, and my mind exited the state it had been in. I realized that this state of Samadhi, this cessation amidst the oscillating mind as I described was not the way to end suffering. I decided I wouldn’t meddle with or hold to any states ever again. I would only know.
一天晚上，我碰巧遇到一位和尚，隆波博建。他问修行情况，我告诉他我正处在一个美好的境界中，问是不是涅槃呢。他笑起来，说：“那是什么样的涅槃境界，会有一个入口一个出口呢？”他的话震动了我，我的心从那个境界中退了出来。我意识到象我所说的这样将摇摆的心停止于某处，这种三摩地不是止熄苦的方法。我决定我再也不干预或保持任何境界了。我只是单纯地知道。
From then on, my practice was to know whatever arises. Phenomena would flash in and flash out all day and all night, like sparkles dancing. It was all there was. After a while, I became very tired of watching this all the time. I hoped I could stop watching for a day or so. Well for better or worse, this proved impossible. Mindfulness was working on its own. There was no way to stop it or get out of this.
从现在起，我只是去觉知所生起的任何现象。现象整日整夜地生起灭去，象跳舞一样闪动。它就这么回事。不久后我对一直这样观察感到很厌烦，我希望能停一两天都好。不管好或坏，就是停不下来。正念它自行运转，没法停下来不运行。
I went to see Luang Por Phud. He was very busy at the temple that day but still spent an hour helping me. He told others to wait, because helping me was a priority. We were both exhausted. He told me that at my stage, the mind sees things in this way. I was still discouraged, however, and eventually I insisted that he go and continue with his other engagement.
为此我去拜访隆波普。尽管那天他很忙，他还是腾出一小时来帮我解惑，他让其他人等着，因为他认为他得优先帮我。后来我们两个人都弄得筋疲力尽还没有弄清楚怎么回事。他告诉我在我这个阶段心观察现象就是这样，但我还是没有被说服，最后，我让他放下我继续去见其他来访者。
My next idea was to write a letter to Luang Ta Maha Bua. He answered by giving me a big book to read. In the book, I found some information about the state where I was stuck. He said the same thing as Luang Por Phud. I supposed everything was going fine then, but I was tired and uninspired.
接下来我写了一封信给隆他马哈巴。他回寄了一本书让我读。在这本书中，我找到了一些与我目前状态相关的信息，说的和隆波普是一样的。我想一切都进行得很好，只是我太累了感到乏味。
I remember one day I was waiting at a bus stop and decided I would go back to counting the breath, the way I practiced before meeting Luang Pu Dune. It was my old Samatha practice. I thought I would do it just for a rest. When I got to breath number 28, the mind entered Samadhi (became one-pointed). The phenomena that were sparkling and dancing finally ceased. I then came out of the Samadhi and realized I was silly for completely abandoning this practice for so long. I needed this state of concentration. I was so intent on watching the mind and trying to develop wisdom that the watching became like a dull knife, not able to cut through anything any further. I realized that the Samatha practice gave my mind the rest and sharpness it needed to watch phenomena with energy and alertness. We need to do Samatha sometimes for peacefulness. Once peaceful we let go of Samatha and watch the mind and body do what they do naturally.
记得一天我正在车站等车，我忽然想起我该去试试数息，它是我的老朋友，在未遇到隆波顿之前我常常练习的修奢摩它的方法。我想练习只是为了休息一会儿。当我数息数到28时，心进入三摩地（止于一处），那种不断闪动跳舞的现象终于停止下来。出定后意识到我真蠢我把数息完全放弃了这么长时间。我需要止定。我太想通过观察心来发展智慧了，而导致观察的能力象一把钝刀无法进一步切断任何东西。我认识到奢摩它能让心得到休息和保持锐利，能使心带着能量和警觉去观察现象。我们有时需要修奢摩它来达到平静。一旦平静了，我们出定，自然地观察身和心。
I’ve been telling stories here about a lot of the mistakes I have made along the way. I was addicted to Samatha. Then I was looking around for the mind. Then I was addicted to the watcher. Then I played around and interfered with states and the watcher. Then I tossed out Samatha altogether. We can’t abandon our Samatha practice. And one is also ill-advised to only to Samatha and never develop wisdom. Practing Samatha only is a totally different path than that to nibbāna, but it is important as an ability that gives us strength and energy to support the way of wisdom.
我在这儿告诉你们了我修行路上所遇到的种种错误。首先我粘着奢摩它，后来我四处找心，再后来我粘着观察者，再后来我在境界与观察者之间摇摆，再后来完全放弃奢摩它。我们不能放弃奢摩它，但也有一种不恰当的说法是只修奢摩它而不修慧，修奢摩它很重要是因它能给我们带来能量以支持我们修慧，但它完全不同于修慧不会导向涅槃。
I later received a second response from Luang Ta Maha Bua. In it he told me that proper practice wasn’t complicated. We need to just know the body and mind as they are in the present moment. This summarizes it very well. Just have the mindfulness to know the body and mind as they are. Just keep knowing and knowing.
后来我再次收到隆他马哈巴的回复。他在信中告诉我正确的修行并不复杂，我们只需当下如实了知身和心。这点总结得非常好。以正念如实知道身和心，持续知道，不断知道。
So we can see that we can go quite far in our practice as a normal lay-person. I did, however, reach a point where I felt that had too many responsibilities. It made sense to have more time in the day to practice, so I decided to ordain as a monk in 2001. Actually, my wife recommended it!
因而我们可以看到，作为一名普通在家居士，我们能修行到相当地程度。我做到了，然而，达到了一个点后我感到有太多责任，感觉要有更多时间来修练，所以我于2001年决定出家做和尚，实际上，是我妻子建议的！
It is not necessary to be a monk to practice successfully; laypeople can do it well. As a layperson, when I reported my experience to meditation masters, there were often monks listening in. I remember once a monk asked me how I could reach such stages of understanding. He admitted he’d been a monk for 20 years and hadn’t achieved even close to what I had, in just a year. I told him that I don’t just keep my mind still and peaceful all day.
我们不必出家做和尚才可以修练成功，在家居士同样可以修得很好。作为一名在家人，我将我的禅修经历报告给禅修老师听时，经常有和尚也在场听。我记得一次一名和尚问我是怎样达到这个程度的。他坦承他出家20年了没有达到过，甚至没有接近我仅在一年内达到的程度。我告诉他我只是没有让心整天处于静止平和的状态。
Once my mind becomes peaceful, I keep seeing what the body and mind do from moment to moment. I watch the body stand, walk, sit and lie down – not myself, the body. The body sits; it is not me sitting. The body lies down; it is not me lying down. The body is just a material thing with a mind in it, just a bundle of elements, with an inflow and outflow such elements occurring continuously. Or I watch the mind. It works all day and all night, thinking and making things up; one moment it is happy, the next it is unhappy. one moment it is nice, the next it is mean. It goes around and around like this non-stop. It goes from the eyes to see, to the ears to hear, to the nose to smell, to the tongue to taste, to the body surface to experience sensations and into the mind to think. Around and around it goes, working by itself all the time. We can’t control it, and we can’t choose whether we will be happy, nice or peaceful. It rotates around between all these things: always in a state of flux, with no state persisting, and with nothing under our control. When we see that everything is always changing(anicca), that nothing persists (dukkha) and that it is all beyond control (anattā), then we have seen the three Characteristics that the Buddha taught.
一旦我的心平和了，我不间断地保持观察身和心在做什么。我观察身体的行、住、坐、卧，不是我，是身体它行、住、坐、卧。身体坐着，不是我坐着；身体它躺着，不是我躺着。身体只是一个带着意识的物体，一堆元素，流进流出，不断生灭。我观察心，它整天整夜地运行着，思考着，编故事，一会儿快乐，一会儿不快乐，一会儿友好温和，一会儿粗暴刻薄。它四处跑，好象没有间歇，到眼根去看，到耳根处听，到鼻根处嗅，到舌根处尝，到皮肤表层处经验感受，到意根处想。它来来回回，自行运动，连续不断。我们不能控制它，也不能选择什么时候会快乐、温和或平静。它在所有事物中循环：它总处于流动状态，没有停歇，也不受我们控制。当我们看到一切总是变化着（无常），没有任何事物可以持续存在（苦），一切不受我们控制（无我）时，我们就已经看到了佛陀所教导的三法印。
Physical and mental phenomena will show their true characteristics if we practice Vipassana correctly. This is the purpose of Vipassana. Vipassana is not thinking things out and telling ourselves that we are not our body. That is not true wisdom. We have to watch things as they are and see the Three Characteristics in our experience.
如果我们练习正确,物质和精神现象将会呈现出它们的真实特征。这就是内观的目的。内观不是思考事情，告诉我们自己我们不是这具色身，那不是真正的智慧。我们必须如实观察，从经验上体证三法印。
Please watch and know in this way, and one day it will be sufficient. The characteristics will show themselves clearly. The process of enlightment will occur. When we see that there is no self to be found in the mind and body; that the mind and body are actually the five khandhas or aggregates (body/form, feeling, memory, mental states/formations, consciousness), many of us get scared. Some get sad, some bored and fed up with the world. Eventually we see that happy and sad, good and bad, are equivalent states in that they are just phenomena that arise and fall,subject to the Three Characteristics. It will seem for many of us at this point that the world is very boring and pointless. This is not an unwholesome boredom, however. It arises because the mind is stable, not attached and impartial to what arises.
请以这种方法观察和了知，某一天因缘具足时，三法印就自动清晰地显现，涅磐就会发生。我们看到身和心没有一个“我”存在，身和心的实相只是色受想行识五蕴。当我们看到这点时，我们大多数人感到震惊，有些人感到悲哀，有些人感到厌离这世界。最后，我们终于生起了平等舍智，快乐或悲伤，好或坏，我们都只将它们看成同等的境界，都不过是现象的生灭，都隶属于三法印。到了这个点，我们大多数人会对这个世界感到厌离和无意义，但这不是不善的厌烦心，事实上，这个心所生起时心情平稳公正，不粘着现象。
Try to be impartial to what arises. Don’t hate defilements, just know when they have arisen. The Buddha never taught that we should not have defilements. He didn’t teach to try to get rid of anger or other defilements like craving when they arise. He taught us that when they arise, we should know they have arisen. When anger arises, the mind has anger, not us. If craving arises, see that the mind has craving,not us. We are not the mind. There is no us. Keeping watch in this way.
试着以平等无分别的态度去观察生起的现象。不要憎恨烦恼，当它们生起时知道它们已生起。佛陀从来没有教我们不要有烦恼，他没有教我们当烦恼生起时设法去除嗔心或其它烦恼，如贪心等。他教我们当烦恼生起时我们知道它们已生起。生气时，了知心生气了，不是我们生气了。贪生起时，看到心有贪着，不是我们贪着。我们不是心，也没有我们。以这种方法持续观察。
When we see that the body and mind are not us, then we can say that we have attained true wisdom. When we have full wisdom the mind will be completely equanimous, impartial to all things. This is a mind that has found the Buddha’s famous “middle way”. It is unaffected by any arising phenomenon. When happiness arises, we don’t get caught up in it as it is only temporary. When suffering arises, we don’t get lost in that either as it is also temporary. We see that all things good or bad are impermanent and just arise and pass of their own accord. When defilements arise we don’t hate them. Remember they are our teachers and can show us the Three Characteristics. They bring us true wisdom just as well as virtuous states do. We just keep watching in this way every day, and we will see that all mental and physical phenomena simply arise because of cause. And when the cause for a phenomenon is no longer present, the phenomenon falls away.
当我们看到身和心都不是我们时，我们就可以说已获得真正的智慧。当我们智慧圆满时，心就完全平等公正地对待一切。这就是佛陀所教导的有名的“中道”。它不受任何生起的现象的影响。当幸福来临时，我们知道它只是暂时的不会沉溺其中。当痛苦来临时，我们知道它只是暂时的也不会迷失其中。我们看到所有一切无论好的坏的都是无常的，只是随着它们的因缘生起灭去。当烦恼来临时我们不憎恨它们，请记得它们是我们的老师，能够向我们展示三法印，它们和善心所一样给我们带来真正的智慧。我们每天持续以这种方式观察，我们将看到所有精神和物质现象基于某些因而产生，当产生这个现象的因不再存在时，现象就灭去了。
The mind will start to know clearly what arises (be mindful) on its own. When it sees phenomena clearly and quickly, they fall away immediately; they do not come up and take over the mind, and don’t create stories, pains or any realms of suffering. The mind will move into a deep level of concentration called “appanā samādhi” on its own whether one had previously experienced concentration to this level or not. At this stage the mind will see phenomena arise and fall very quikly. The mind doesn’t even know what it is that arises. Each phenomenon simply comes and goes, comes and goes. It knows, but it doesn’t know what it knows.
心开始自动地清楚地知道所生起的现象。当它能清晰而迅速地看见现象时，现象就立即灭去，它们不会上长占据我们的心，不会编故事，制造痛苦。心就自然地进入一种深定，称之为“三昧”，不管你有没有经验过这种定。在这个阶段心看现象非常迅速地生灭，心甚至不知道生起的是什么。每个现象只是简单地生起灭去，来了去了。心知道它们来了去了，但不知道所知道的是什么。
His Royal Highness the King of Thailand came to a meeting of high monks once and asked if knowing but not knowing what we are knowing is still knowing. The answer Luang Por Phud gave is yes. The mind that is knowing, but doesn’t know what it is knowing, is not involved in the relative world. It sees all phenomena as equal and is not thinking, conceptualizing, or lost in stories that are, at best, only true at a relative level. When we see truth on the ultimate level, we see that each thing that arises, then falls away. We see that such things have no name. When we see this clearly, we are nearing the first stage of enlightment called stream-entry.
泰皇陛下曾召开一次高层次的僧人会议，会上陛下问如果知道但不知道我们所知道的是什么（知道生灭但不知道什么在生灭），这是不是也称为知道，当时隆波普肯定了这点。这颗能知的心在知道，但它不知道所知道的是什么，它不会卷入到相对的二元世界中去了。它看万物平等，它不是思考或概念上的理解，也不会迷失在故事里，那种故事充其量不过是在相对层面上真实。当我们在究竟层面上看见真理时，我们看到万物没有名字，生起灭去。当我们清晰地看到这点时，我们接近了入流果，须陀恒果。
Then we see that each thing that arises and falls is just a mass of suffering. The mind is wise, peaceful and is impartial to whatever arises and falls. Then the mind moves towards pure consciousness. When it arrives there the defilements will start to become eradicated. Nibbāna, the end of suffering, is visible for just two or three moments. The stream enterer then returns to the relative world but still contemplates Truth. He or she can also see what defilements are now gone and which still remain. He or she then continues to pratice in exactly the same way as always: watching and knowing body and mind.
然后我们看到生起灭去的每一事物都只不过是一团苦。心智慧、平和、对任何生灭无分别，然后心进入纯净意识。当它达到这里时烦恼开始根除，涅槃，苦的止息，就出现两三个片刻。然后入流果圣者返回到相对的二元世界，仍然冥想真理。他或她也能看现在哪些烦恼已去除哪些烦恼还残余。他或她继续和平时一样禅修：观察、知道身和心。
Non-monks can do this work very well. After all，monk and lay person are just relative positions which hold no truth on the ultimate level. Both have bodies and minds and know in just the same way.
在家人能够修得非常好。毕竟出家在家，只是位置相对不同，在究竟层面上无差别，两者都有身和心，同样以相同方式知道身和心。
That’s enough theory for one day. Go back to your lives and study the body and mind. But don’t sit and think about them; that will slow the practice down, and make it difficult.
一天的禅修理论知识教导就到这里。回到你们的日常生活中去观察身和心。不要坐着思考身心，那样会减慢禅修进度，使修行变得困难。
To conclude, I’ll provide some practial examples of how to practice mindfulness in daily life. When you are sitting and waiting for someone and feel bored, know that there is boredom. At work, when laziness arises in the afternoon, know there is laziness. When you want to talk to a friend, know there is wanting. When talking if it feels fun, know enjoyment has arisen. When hunger arises, know it. When you are choosing food at the cafeteria and it all looks unappetizing, know that dissatisfaction has arisen. Just know in this way. Know directly in your experience and see that every mind of every kind arises and falls; laziness arises and falls, boredom arises and falls, wanting arises and falls. When you taste the food and you are glad it tastes better than you had expected, know there is gladness. When you shower, notice all the mental states that arise. Especially if it is a cold shower, there will be lots of changes to notice: fear will arise and fall, and relief and happiness will arise when we are clean and dry.
我以举几个实例来作总结，让你们知道如何在日常生活中禅修。当你坐着等人感到厌烦时，知道厌烦生起。工作日的下午时分，懒惰心生起了，知道懒惰心生起了。当你想和一位朋友聊天时，知道想要聊天的欲望生起了。谈话谈得很开心时，知道开心生起了。饥饿感生起了时知道它。在自助餐馆挑选食物时，看到食物不合胃口，此时知道不满意生起了。以这种方式知道，直接从你的经验知道，看各种各样心生起灭去。懒惰心生起灭去了，厌烦心生起灭去了，欲望心生起灭去了。当你品尝食物时，味道比你预想的要好，快乐生起了，知道快乐生起了。沐浴时注意生起的各种心情。特别是冲冷水澡时，注意一系列的变化产生了：害怕冷水的感觉生起灭去了，当我们洗干净擦干身体后放松感和愉悦感生起了。
A good place to observe the changes of the mind is in traffic. We may be at the back of a long line at a red light and feel restlessness. Know the moment that this has arisen. Then a green light appears and we feel a little bit happy, but then the light turns red again just before we make it through! We get very frustrated. We may notice we are more upset about that than we were a few minutes ago when we were twenty cars back! See and know what arises in the mind, with honesty and humility. We will see the devil inside us, so to speak. We will see that we are as bad as anyone else. We won’t blame anyone for our pains and sorrows anymore. The evils of the world are just defilements. Anger, greed and ignorance take over our minds just as they do the minds of others. Everyone deserves our sympathy in this regard. It isn’t hard to watch the mind as in the examples I have given, but we do need courage, patience and perseverance.
遇到交通阻塞的时候，这正是观察心变化无常的最佳时刻。遇到红灯，也许我们排在长长的队伍后面，感到焦躁不安，知道此刻焦躁不安感生起。接着绿灯亮起了，我们高兴一阵子，但我们刚要准备过去时红灯又亮起了，我们感到十分沮丧。我们注意到我们比几分钟前处在20台车的后面时感到更加不安了。诚实谦卑地观察知道心中什么生起了。我们会看到我们内心的恶，可以这么说，我们看到我们自己比别人好不了多少，所以我们不再因他人给我们带来痛苦和悲伤而责备任何人。世间的恶只不过就是烦恼，贪嗔痴占据我们的心，其他人也如此。在这点上，每个人值得我们同情。如我举例所说的那样，观察心并不难，我们就是需要勇气、耐心和持之以恒的毅力。
